Emotional Reactions

These days, most parents find out early in the pregnancy that they are having more than one baby. It is often a time of mixed emotions. For many couples, it may be completely unexpected and for others, it may come after years of trying to become pregnant. When they hear they are having more than one baby, some parents report feelings of absolute jubilation, while others weep openly – not tears of joy. Parents may be distressed at the thought of having less time to spend with an older child or anxious about the outcome of a multiple pregnancy. Feeling overwhelmed is also common. All of these reactions are normal, and no one need ever feel guilty about how they feel.

We fought, we cried, we resented, we talked, we laughed, and we survived.

— A mother of 10-month-old quads

If you are concerned about your feelings, speak to someone about these issues as early as possible in your pregnancy. Multiple Births Canada is an organization especially for families expecting multiples. This organization offers parent-to-parent support programs that link you with other multiple birth families in your community.

Make a point of discussing your feelings with your partner – your concerns may be very similar.

You may also want to talk to your caregiver, who may be able to refer you to more resources in your area.

Dealing with Other People's Reactions

Like all expectant parents, couples having multiples are often subjected to unsolicited advice – usually from well-meaning individuals. Keep a cool head and a sense of humour.

Of course, many people delight in the news and bring well wishes instead. Research shows that women expecting multiples are just as happy as those expecting only one child. A British study of over 12,000 women compared the emotional well-being of women expecting twins with that of women expecting a single child. The study showed that the women related similar feelings of well-being. The authors concluded that the women's emotions are often buoyed by the attention paid to the special status and uniqueness of this pregnancy.

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